Practical Tattoo

to anyone contemplating getting a tattoo: please request a painting of it from me instead so you can throw it away if you get sick of it.

Patrick Wolf

this guy is a singer songwriter from london. i've never heard of him though he seems to be pretty famous. of course that judgement was based on his number of MySpace fans, quantity of tour dates and quality of his site's web design but i don't really know. wikipedia says "Patrick utilises a wide variety of instruments in his music, most commonly the ukulele, piano and viola. Known for combining electronic sampling with classical instruments, Wolf's styles range from Romantic folk to techno-pop." well that sounds pretty cool. i think i'll give him a listen now. of course a good artist would have listened before creating the portrait to allow his music to influence the painting. good thing i'm not just a good artist. i'm a great one, hah!

Books Without Guilt

this is similar to those faux books to fill your shelves cause they're books minus the annoying characteristic of being able to be read.

Black and White Power Wand

where does this animal get off thinking it can have a ridiculously patterned tail that's longer than it's body? how is that evolutionarily helpful?? it's not even prehensile. wikipedia says it's for balance, communication and group cohesion. i guess i could probably get any person to do whatever i wanted if i had such an impressive tail too.

Winky the Hamster

this is a pet portrait of a hamster that lost an eye. good name can make a physical impairment cute. one of my brother's friends growing up blew off his ring and pinky finger with a firecracker. they called him "turtle" because the teenage mutant ninja turtles only have three fingers. how adorable.

Visit New Denmark: The Presumed State

this request was for "a grey raccoon playing a piano accordion which looks like the flag of Denmark". i've been asked to mail it to an address with the acronym "NJ". by using context clues i've deduced that state must be New Denmark.

Rocket and Planets

these planets are clearly influenced by my vague memories of the solar system chapter from third grade.