Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Look at That Smug Smile. He Knows.

We get it, corgi. You are smaller and cuter than me. You're the same kind of threatening as a baby. Only worse because now you are clearly also more talented.

I Think Neil Strauss Is Under There

Medieval knights were definitely peacocking.

Monday, October 5, 2015

The Second Version Will Look Quite Different

I don't know what I'm going to do when I get a request for "Sting covering a Ray Charles song while dressed as a crab" because I already used the filename "stingraycrab.jpg" for this painting.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

People Are Original

It is ridiculously common for people to say, when they hear I'm an artist, "Oh really? I can't even draw a stick figure." Like, those exact words. I hear that all the time. I don't know what it is but people love telling artists that they can't draw stick figures. Despite the fact that I've heard it a very large number of times and am confident that I will continue to hear it from this moment on, I have yet to come up with something to say back. Ok, here are some options:

1) Neither can I.
2) Yeah, you have to pass that test at the end of art school.
3) I try to avoid body shaming my figures.
4) Picasso made a career on that.
5) I can't even... accounting?... I don't know. What do you do for a living?
6) Prove it.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Not Practical for Hiking Until You're Stuck In a Valley

If you had a pair of ruby slippers that could get you home from anywhere, would it be worth it to have that power any time? I mean, considering the fact that you'd have to look like a dope always wearing ruby slippers.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Technology Trouble

Usually my head is exploding in front of a computer and not the other way around.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

How Hippies Release

This is from the cover of Grateful Dead's live double album titled "Steal Your Face". I don't know enough about Grateful Dead because I pretty much assumed all of their albums were live and at least two discs.